Backroads mom

As I age I look back reflectively on the way I was raised and why I turned out the way I did. I feel like all the influences of my childhood and all the experiences have shaped me into the woman I am today.

I realize as I sit and think about the many women I know that have had or have now, relationship problems, I can’t help but wonder how much attention they received from their father!

I feel like my father and how he treated my mom and the view he had of women in general has definitely molded my perspective of the world. Along with the words that were spoken to me and the affection and love I received!

Now, I love my father! He definitely did the best he could. However being a reflective person that I am, I have had many conversations with my husband in regards to raising our daughter. With reflection and perspective. I started to think of what I would want from my father had I felt I could ask. Things I think could have shaped me better!

For my daughter I want her to be able to learn trust. I’m sure others will disagree so this is just my opinion, however I feel that fathers are very important to shape that ability.

I feel that what young girls need, is to be able to trust their father! To know that promises are kept! They need to feel safe and often that safety comes in the form of a father figure. I began to realize that this is the first “relationship” that a girl can relate to.

Many women I know have had absent fathers or just fathers who disregarded women. A lot of those ladies have trust issues. They also often are attention seeking. Because again they didn’t receive much of anything from their fathers.

Now I don’t pretend to be a psychiatrist but this makes a lot of sense to me.

I want my daughter to have open communication with her father. She needs to be able to lean on him. These are not high expectations, I feel like these are things fathers are capable of. We are definitely in a day and age where women should be supported and encouraged.

Too many times I feel that we as women are punishing our boyfriends, partners, and husbands because of the lack of precedence set by our fathers. We need, too much. We aren’t taught self reliance. We often require assurance and validation from our partners.

So as I reflect on my relationship with my father and see the evolving relationship of my daughters with theirs, I continue to encourage him and them. To develop that open communication and to continue to praise and love. I hope his relationship with them allows growth. I hope my daughters will understand that they have someone to look up to and someone besides mom who will always be in their corner. Who will always have their best interest at heart. Someone they can get advice from without judgement. A male perspective. When trust is established early, young girls know expectations and can set boundaries better. Perhaps not needing as much male attention at a young age!

This shouldn’t just fall on the mothers shoulders! Fathers who are willing can help shape and mold the ladies of the house. After all girls need their fathers too! ❤️

Love you dad! I’m glad you pointed me in the right direction and let me fear your disappointment! 😄

Disclaimer: this is only an opinion this is not meant to point fingers or say that women should blame all their troubles on their fathers nor are women who grow up with a single parent or even two moms “broken”! This is only what I want for my girls!